Whether you need to stay "clean" or "sober" or have some other dependency you need to be freed from, start with God. Give Him all of you~~the good and the bad. Trust Him and He will see you through to a place of healing.
You can choose to live your life with the joy of the front row or solemness of the third row. The choice is yours. That's me in the front row with my joy. Those are my coworkers in the third row. Every day is a struggle to keep them from killing my joy.